2 exclamation points on this title is all it gets, I used to run cross-country when I was in junior high and my freshman and maybe sophmore year of high school but that seems sooooo long ago! Anyway, I just signed up for the 5k Color Me Rad run coming in May in Sacramento and I must say I’m a little nervous about it. I’m sure it’ll be much fun to get bombarded with those corn starch bomb thingies, but I can’t help but think of my knees and not feel bad for them. I’m 30 years old and I have granny knees 😦 so not cool! But, alas, I committed to running this with my sister, as a sister date thingie and I can’t back out now.
Ummm….so how do I get back into it??? I don’t have time to run, really, but I will attempt to give it a go next week, as I’ll be on vacation and really, my kids need to get in some running time too.
Wish me luck as I will definitely needed.
I know NO ONE reads my posts! lol but in case you are reading this and at the end would like to offer some advice…feel free to do so. Like I’ve mentioned before I’m a single mom of 3 kids that are aboslutely full of life, if you know what I mean. I also have a boyfriend. Have. Had. Have. Had. Have. Had. It’s endless. My kids are my number 1 priority, how do you make someone understand that? I have to spend as much time as I can with them now that they are young and actually want to spend time with me because soon, they’ll see me as their No. 1 enemy.
Now, this doesn’t mean that he doesn’t love them or care about them but I feel torn between making them all happy. Example: almost all of the Saturday’s in the year are game days, whether it’s for basketball, baseball, skateboarding or soccer, there is a game and I am going to be there cheering for my child. Before the kids became so active in sports we used to do another sport together, hiking. Now we barely have time to hike and that has become an issue with the bf. I’ve offered to hike on Sunday’s or do another activity but got no actual or positive response.
Being in a relationship and being a single mom at the same time is hella hard. We don’t live together which I don’t know if it’s a good thing or a bad thing, so he calls himself the weekend guy.
I think the biggest problem I’m having is that I have an extremely hard time allowing anyone else to discipline my children, which is another problem because he feels that he should be allowed to have a say. My opinion is that he doesn’t really because he doesn’t live with us, therefore does not contribute to the household 100% nor to the kids 100%, I’m not saying that he can’t tell them anything when appropriate but it’s hard for me. He says he wants to be someones #1 and unfortunately I already have three #1’s, how do I make him my fourth #1 instead of my number 2?
Needless to say, the relationship is in the OFF position right now.
My thoughts are all over the place, I know.
I’m starting the year off on the right foot…doing insanity! I’ve done it before and I can say that it does work but you can’t stop after the 60 days because of course, you’ll go back to your old habits and your tummy will follow. The most exciting part about doing Insanity this time is that my 10-year-old son is doing it with me. This is our first week and he has been so consistent, I thought he was going to give up after the fit test, [I wanted to do that] but NO! Every evening at 6pm he’s ready to go. I couldn’t be prouder, there are grown people who are afraid of doing insanity and here he is going at it. He’s learning the moves and the stretches, he’s getting there. He’s a pretty active kid, doing martial arts and playing basketball but he feels that he needs to have a workout to improve his health and his body. I don’t know if this is about improving his appearance because he’s getting older and is starting to worry about those things but whatever the reason may be I couldn’t be happier, not just for what exercise will do to his body, but what working out together is doing for our relationship. Joshua and I don’t always have the best connection I know we can have, me being a single mom and he being the oldest of 3, struggle to make this work. He is a great kid, always helping me out in whatever I need, but at the same time he’s always ready to have a battle with me, whether it’s about taking out the trash, doing homework, you name it, he’s ready to argue and I play into that most of the time. One of my goals as a mother is to be more patient with my children and not play into their attitude on things sometimes, not feed off of their own reactions. It’s hard, but I know that it’s not impossible. I want to be the mom that has a calm conversation with her kids about what they did and how the things they do affect them and the people around them not be the mom that yells right away, and unfortunately the stress of raising and financially supporting 3 kids on my own sometimes takes over and I’m quick to get upset. Which, I believe is not a good thing because I don’t want my kids to hide things from me. But, I digress, this post is about Insanity and I think this is what Josh and I need right now to form a different bond with each other, and improve our health at the same time.
So I’m attempting to take the photo a day challenge this year and hopefully I can commit the whole year to this.
As a parent I never thought I’d be going through this, because well you never expect your child to be in pain or break their arm, even though it’s an entire possibility. Well, my Alexa, 7, was pushed at school from one of the metal bars by one of her school mates and she landed very badly and broke both bones in her forearm. (2 bones not 2 arms)
She had surgery yesterday morning, and is now home recuperating. Kaiser-Modesto has great staff and were great with my daughter and treated her very well and is now on her way to recovery.
The little girl that pushed her got suspended for 2 days, needless to say that doesn’t make me feel better because she gets to miss school for 2 days and my daughter gets to be in a cast for a minimum of 8 weeks. She’s also going to miss all of her activities, and I’m so sad because she was super excited about starting cheerleading and now she won’t be able to do it just like she planned. She’ll still be able to cheer her brothers on but no cartwheels or flips.
The important thing, as always, is that Alexa is doing a lot better and is ready to go back to school after being absent for 2 days. If this would’ve happened to one of her brothers’ they’d be milking it as much as possible!
Get well soon Lexi!
October seems to be the month that is AWARE of a lot of important issues in our world, i.e.: breast cancer, bullying, even veganism, but the one that is close to my heart is Domestic Violence. I am proud to say that I am a survivor, it wasn’t easy but it’s not impossible either. I consider myself a very strong, independent woman, but at the same time I was afraid. Afraid of: what are people going to think, what are they going to say. I didn’t want to be that woman who calls the cops on her abuser and then the next day is bailing him out of jail. So, naturally I became the woman that doesn’t call the cops at all and is nearly choked to death while being 8 months pregnant and with my other babies nearby. Seriously, not the best experience of my life, but it truly was an eye opener, I finally realized the type of woman I was becoming, the one I didn’t want to be, the one that I would criticize for staying quiet.
What made me decide to leave? My kids. I didn’t want for my boys to grow up thinking that it was ok to hit women or my daughter to grow up believing that abuse was normal in a marriage, in a relationship. Do I regret not calling the cops? Absolutely, but there is nothing I can do about it now. The only thing there is to do now, is move forward and keep going. I am single mother of 3 kids, they are my life and I thank God for blessing me with the opportunity of watching them grow and not taking me from them.
If anyone reading this is going through abuse, you can walk away, you can get help. It’s hard, and you’ll excuse them the first time, even the second or third time, but just know that it won’t end and he/she will never change, but you can, YOU can put a stop to the abuse and change your life.
SURVIVOR. SILENT NO MORE.
Hello! I’ve decided to give blogging another chance or maybe it’s giving me another chance, be that as it may, I will attempt to blog more often than I did the first time around.
I’m a single mom of 3, my life is not that exciting, although you’d think differently me having 3 kids and all, but alas, I’m just a single mom trying to make it in the world for J.A.K. and for myself.
So stay tuned, I may have some adventures to share with the world after all.