I know NO ONE reads my posts! lol but in case you are reading this and at the end would like to offer some advice…feel free to do so. Like I’ve mentioned before I’m a single mom of 3 kids that are aboslutely full of life, if you know what I mean. I also have a boyfriend. Have. Had. Have. Had. Have. Had. It’s endless. My kids are my number 1 priority, how do you make someone understand that? I have to spend as much time as I can with them now that they are young and actually want to spend time with me because soon, they’ll see me as their No. 1 enemy.
Now, this doesn’t mean that he doesn’t love them or care about them but I feel torn between making them all happy. Example: almost all of the Saturday’s in the year are game days, whether it’s for basketball, baseball, skateboarding or soccer, there is a game and I am going to be there cheering for my child. Before the kids became so active in sports we used to do another sport together, hiking. Now we barely have time to hike and that has become an issue with the bf. I’ve offered to hike on Sunday’s or do another activity but got no actual or positive response.
Being in a relationship and being a single mom at the same time is hella hard. We don’t live together which I don’t know if it’s a good thing or a bad thing, so he calls himself the weekend guy.
I think the biggest problem I’m having is that I have an extremely hard time allowing anyone else to discipline my children, which is another problem because he feels that he should be allowed to have a say. My opinion is that he doesn’t really because he doesn’t live with us, therefore does not contribute to the household 100% nor to the kids 100%, I’m not saying that he can’t tell them anything when appropriate but it’s hard for me. He says he wants to be someones #1 and unfortunately I already have three #1’s, how do I make him my fourth #1 instead of my number 2?
Needless to say, the relationship is in the OFF position right now.
My thoughts are all over the place, I know.
I’m starting the year off on the right foot…doing insanity! I’ve done it before and I can say that it does work but you can’t stop after the 60 days because of course, you’ll go back to your old habits and your tummy will follow. The most exciting part about doing Insanity this time is that my 10-year-old son is doing it with me. This is our first week and he has been so consistent, I thought he was going to give up after the fit test, [I wanted to do that] but NO! Every evening at 6pm he’s ready to go. I couldn’t be prouder, there are grown people who are afraid of doing insanity and here he is going at it. He’s learning the moves and the stretches, he’s getting there. He’s a pretty active kid, doing martial arts and playing basketball but he feels that he needs to have a workout to improve his health and his body. I don’t know if this is about improving his appearance because he’s getting older and is starting to worry about those things but whatever the reason may be I couldn’t be happier, not just for what exercise will do to his body, but what working out together is doing for our relationship. Joshua and I don’t always have the best connection I know we can have, me being a single mom and he being the oldest of 3, struggle to make this work. He is a great kid, always helping me out in whatever I need, but at the same time he’s always ready to have a battle with me, whether it’s about taking out the trash, doing homework, you name it, he’s ready to argue and I play into that most of the time. One of my goals as a mother is to be more patient with my children and not play into their attitude on things sometimes, not feed off of their own reactions. It’s hard, but I know that it’s not impossible. I want to be the mom that has a calm conversation with her kids about what they did and how the things they do affect them and the people around them not be the mom that yells right away, and unfortunately the stress of raising and financially supporting 3 kids on my own sometimes takes over and I’m quick to get upset. Which, I believe is not a good thing because I don’t want my kids to hide things from me. But, I digress, this post is about Insanity and I think this is what Josh and I need right now to form a different bond with each other, and improve our health at the same time.
So I’m attempting to take the photo a day challenge this year and hopefully I can commit the whole year to this.